Essay
by Christopher Ling

As I begin to improvise, I am struck with a sudden nervousness and fearful anticipation. What will the audience think of my solo? Breathing deeply, I close my eyes and relax, allowing the music to take over. I face the audience. Jazz licks and scale patterns flow into my mind and then to the crowd. Chord changes zoom by each measure of my solo as I wonder what flats and sharps are in the C-flat diminished scale. As the audience cheers, I feel my face getting warmer and a smile beginning to materialize. Being a part of the band, hearing the steady beat of the drums, listening to what others are playing, and watching the director signaling a change in the music all heightens the overall ambience. However, my entire jazz experience was brought to another level when I played with professional jazz trumpeter, Tony Lujan.

Of course, I have listened to the jazz legends, trying to imitate such greats as Stan Getz, John Coltrane, and Charlie Parker, but having a one-on-one experience with a renowned musician was beyond imagination. Tony Lujan came and practiced a week with the jazz band and concluded his stay by having a concert with us. The hard work involved in preparing for someone of Tony's stature was intense.

As the first chair of the saxophone section, I already had the challenging task of leading the entire saxophone section and correcting my peers' mistakes in order to ensure that everyone knew their parts, the correct rhythms, and the precise intonations. I spent countless hours poring over and practicing the songs that he had selected, making notes for my section where the appropriate crescendos and decrescendos, jazz articulations, and rhythm counts needed to be. Through the preparation itself, I learned the drive, determination, and patience that were necessary not only to learn a creative jazz score, but also to teach the music to my peers.

When Tony arrived, my music was covered with notes and annotations, correcting individual mistakes and noting specific areas of which to be aware. Tony's laid-back and calm demeanor amazed me. Not only was he comfortable with my peers and me, able to laugh and joke around, but he also did not make us feel inferior to him or that any one person was better than the other. His "cool" & professionalism impressed me, and I quickly adapted these characteristics into my position as the leader of the saxophone section.

Under his tutelage, we quickly got down to business, rehearsing the songs and correcting our parts according to his preferences. He worked efficiently, telling us what needed to be fixed and who needed to play louder. I adapted to this change immediately, because after having one rehearsal with him, I observed how much time our band wasted doing needless things such as taking class time to practice individual parts when it could be done at home.

More importantly, Tony taught me how to lead a jazz section, both technically and artistically. However, Tony also taught me to how to draw out my creative abilities and passions for jazz, and impart these feelings to my music. The music coming from my horn had to have confidence and most of all, a style that was innate to me. Slowly, through his instruction, my understanding of jazz, and the reasons I spent countless hours practicing scales, studying chords, and taking lessons became clearer.

The night of the concert came, and dressed in our jazz attire, we entered the stage for sound check. Everything had to be perfect. Again, the nervousness and anticipation struck me because I knew that I was going to be performing in front of the audience. Although my palms were sweating and my fingers were practicing tonight's selected songs on my imaginary saxophone, I was instilled with self-assurance, believing that I was going to be just fine. This newfound confidence was foreign to me, but it was an encouraging sentiment to have, taking away all my fears. The previous week under Tony's guidance gave me a more professional, assertive outlook.

When the concert began, I was no longer concerned about my anxiety or uneasiness, but focused on entertaining the crowd. I literally felt like the best saxophonist in the entire world, surmounting the previous jazz legends and leaving them in the dust. Tony Lujan had instilled me with a whole new approach to the jazz arena. Through this experience, I have conquered one more stepping stone in the uphill ascent towards jazz excellence.

My band director occasionally wears this black tee shirt with some music notes scattered around a music staff. Centered on his shirt is the word "JAZZ" with a sentence underneath it in smaller letters. Below is this one-line phrase, "If you don't know what it is, don't ask." With jazz, it is not just playing what is on the manuscript paper or how somebody else plays the music. It is not about learning half of the music or about putting only some of your effort into the music. It is not about the instructional books on how to learn jazz. Jazz cannot be read in a book or learned overnight. It must be felt, it must be practiced, and it must be experienced! Jazz is about the emotions that are expressed through the notes on the page.

The night of the concert, I brought the notes to life with my own creative abilities and shared them with the audience. My entire jazz comprehension has been bumped up another notch because some of the magic that Tony radiated onto me. From this experience, not only have I realized the drive and determination that is necessary to perform well; I have also learned the importance of allowing my own passion and creative abilities to shine through. Both in and out of the music arena, I hope to always impart these qualities in my work.